


102

by obnoxious_cactus



Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-01-14 11:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18475717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obnoxious_cactus/pseuds/obnoxious_cactus
Summary: He lets her go, but the moments they share are his.





	1. wisp

1:02am

Shinji stands in an alleyway. 

His deep contemplative sighs are accompanied by billowing smoke leaving his lips as the cigarette leaves his lips.

 

He recalls the moment when Arisato had first found out he smoked. She was livid and they were arguing, shouting, pleading with each other. She was pleading with him. 

_ Fuck.  _

Her red eyes glistened with the tears that threatened to spill, the tears that magnified the inside of her soul and he could see a slither of helplessness and sadness not dissimilar to the burdens he carries on his slouched back. 

_ Take care of yourself first before you start thinking about others. _

The look on her face, even then, was beautiful. 

He finishes off his cigarette and drops it to the asphalt.

_ I’m a dipshit _ , he thinks as he stamps out the butt.

 

He fiddles with the cigarette box in his pocket and gives it a shake. From the clattering, he guesses there are about three or four left.

He had only just bought this packet an hour ago. 


	2. pause

1:02am

Messy hair. Pyjamas. Rubbing her half open eyes. Her footsteps lumbering down the stairs. 

Their night ritual begins.

 

She sits at the counter, resting her head on her hands. Her eyes flutter open at the sight of him and she gives a small smile. 

He chastises himself for not being able to hold back a smile from the sight of her. Minako had been losing her vitality along with her sleep. This was the same girl who could fall asleep anywhere at anytime and have the most vivid dreams she would excitedly recount to Junpei and Yukari while leaving in the morning. He felt his heart breaking along with hers as she slowly lost herself to her restlessness. 

 

But her recent bouts of insomnia have also allowed him more of her time. 

 

“Here,” he says, placing a stack of pancakes decorated with strawberries and cream in front of her.

He hides his own chuckles behind coughs as she hums while devouring the plate messily.

The coughs stop being intentional and start turning into painful hacks.

The humming stops. She’s looking up at him now with concern. He turns around until the fit stops. He thrusts his hands into his coat pockets as he turns around and gives her a small smile.

She doesn’t smile back. Instead, she looks like she wants to say something but both of them know she can’t. 

 

Because she’d be a hypocrite if she starts preaching to him about taking care of himself, about living as long as possible, about considering the feelings of the ones they love, about how precious life is...

He grunts.


	3. exchange

1:02pm

During the day she belongs to Aki.

He recalls this fact as he watches the two in the common area. She’s talking animatedly to her silver-haired senpai who is grinning like an idiot. She is glowing, a sight only seen otherwise when she’s stuffing her face with pancakes. 

Shinji’s heart swells at that last thought.

 

It seems that exams are coming up. This doesn’t put their night occasions on hold, however. Getting busy with things less important than trying to save the goddamn city has brought back her chirpiness and the crisp of her steps for a little while. 

 

Or maybe it’s because of what she’s been getting up to with Akihiko. She loves hearing stupid stories from their childhood from Shinji and babbling on about her developments with him as they trudged through the empty streets at night. And he would feel a dull pang in his chest whenever he saw a glint in her eyes appear at the mention of Aki’s name.

But he still loves the way her face looks when she’s yapping about him. 

 

She’s giggling audibly now and the idiot next to her has his face in his hands. 

 

She catches him watching from the corner of her eye and gives him a smile.

He decides he needs a cigarette.


	4. end of the line

1:02am

Her legs are swinging as she sits on top of the jungle gym at the shrine, staring up at the clear starry sky.

Their nights have begun to spiral outside moonlit kitchens and strawberry pancakes.

 

“Won’t you join me, Shinji?”

His heart swells every time she calls him by his nickname now.  _Stupid,_ he mentally slaps himself.

“I hurt my shoulder earlier from a fight with Aki.”

She frowns. The fights with Akihiko are becoming more frequent.

It’s a bit of a lie to call them fights. Akihiko throws the punches and Shinji takes them. Because he deserves it and he has nothing else to say or do.

 

“I haven’t really talked to senpai lately,” he hears her say, a little sadly.

She jumps down, her head is lowered.

“I… Akihiko-senpai… you…”

He can see her struggling to arrange her thoughts into words. Frustration bubbles over in the form of tears and mucus, and she’s crying and gasping for air in between her sobs.

By impulse, he holds her close to him, lowering his head into the crook of her neck, inhaling the smell of her hair.

_He’s kissing her neck, he’s kissing her lips and she tastes like the strawberries and cream he puts on her pancakes. He wants to tell her, how he yearns for her and how much he –_

A loud sob rattling his ribs snaps him back to reality.

“Take good care of Aki,” he says.

She manages a reply, "Okay."

And he lets her go.

* * *

 

End of Act I

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated! This is my first time writing fan fiction of any kind!  
> If you enjoyed it, leave a kudos! It helps me and lets me know that you're enjoying this and I'm doing something right.


	5. intermission – change

_A requiem_

_For the things that could have been_

_For the lives we could have lead_

_After our shame_

_After our love_

_Did our self-sacrifices make us sinners?_

 

_Load and spin._

_Muzzle to the temple._

 

_Whose load is heavier_

_Your corpse or my spirit?_

 

_Perhaps it doesn’t matter._

 

_People like us only shine in the dark_

_They shine for each other_

_They latch on to each other_

_They fall together_

_Both of them can’t reach something..._

 

_So one of them lets go._

 

“Next time, I swear, it will be different... I’ll save you too.”


End file.
